I need to stand up for my dreams. When I tell someone my plans, the common response from my protective family is, essentially, no.
And then I stop dreaming and I stop believing. And I think ‘maybe I should give up’, and often I do. I think ‘well maybe it’s not my dream, lots of other people have this dream’. It’s quite saddening to think of the number of times I have had this one dream rejected and ignored.
Having a protective family is my killer. And people tell me over and over, ‘they’re just looking out for you!’ Yeah, I hear you, but do you really get anywhere by playing it safe?
I don’t want to go through my life being unnoticed and unhelpful. I want to make a difference! I want to inspire and bring hope to people throughout the world. There’s no way I can accomplish this in a tiny city with barriers everywhere I turn.
I need to focus on my goals and to challenge and fight down whatever lies in my path. I’m tired of having my ideas stepped all over. I am an independent person, I do not need people anxiously judging my motives, I do enough of that to myself.
I found a Frank Zappa quote the other day that was
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
Reading that was a big wake up for me. I was looking for inspiration and that hit me in the face. I feel like if i don’t watch and carefully think about my actions then I’ll head down the ‘boring miserable’ path. I fear waking up and realising what could have been and what I could have done.
I don’t want to spend my next 4 and a half years at uni going from study to work to study, and continuing a whole mundane cycle. I want to achieve something! I want to travel and to meet people. I am young and I am being told that I am not free.
I want to get out there.
My dream is to volunteer in a disadvantaged community and to make a difference. I want to make positive changes in people’s lives.
It’s hard living in a house that tells you that you can’t achieve your dreams. But I will.Fear keeps people small, and I will not settle for small.