My great dream

I need to stand up for my dreams. When I tell someone my plans, the common response from my protective family is, essentially, no.

And then I stop dreaming and I stop believing. And I think ‘maybe I should give up’, and often I do. I think ‘well maybe it’s not my dream, lots of other people have this dream’. It’s quite saddening to think of the number of times I have had this one dream rejected and ignored.

Having a protective family is my killer. And people tell me over and over, ‘they’re just looking out for you!’ Yeah, I hear you, but do you really get anywhere by playing it safe?

I don’t want to go through my life being unnoticed and unhelpful. I want to make a difference! I want to inspire and bring hope to people throughout the world. There’s no way I can accomplish this in a tiny city with barriers everywhere I turn.

I need to focus on my goals and to challenge and fight down whatever lies in my path. I’m tired of having my ideas stepped all over. I am an independent person, I do not need people anxiously judging my motives, I do enough of that to myself.

I found a Frank Zappa quote the other day that was

If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.

Reading that was a big wake up for me. I was looking for inspiration and that hit me in the face. I feel like if i don’t watch and carefully think about my actions then I’ll head down the ‘boring miserable’ path. I fear waking up and realising what could have been and what I could have done.

I don’t want to spend my next 4 and a half years at uni going from study to work to study, and continuing a whole mundane cycle. I want to achieve something! I want to travel and to meet people. I am young and I am being told that I am not free.

I want to get out there.

My dream is to volunteer in a disadvantaged community and to make a difference. I want to make positive changes in people’s lives.

It’s hard living in a house that tells you that you can’t achieve your dreams. But I will.Fear keeps people small, and I will not settle for small.

Julia

One thought on “My great dream

  1. Firstly, beautifully written. Your passion really leaps off the page… it’s a rare talent.

    On topic, good for you for having the courage to fight for your dreams. It is a very necessary skill to have, because there will always be outside forces drawing you away from ‘the road less travelled’. If it is not your family, it will be your friends, your partner, your job, your bills. There is always something whispering those fateful words in your ear… ‘stay here. You’re safe here. You’ll die on the outside’. Ignoring that voice takes guts, real guts.

    One thing that I believe is worth considering is that changing the world for the better can happen anywhere, anytime. You write that you can’t fulfil your dreams living in a tiny city, and I understand that as your dreams are big. But that doesn’t stop you from making a difference in your tiny town while you work on your dreams. I live in a small town, and work in an even smaller one. Through my work I try to make that little town a better place. Sometimes the small towns are the underdogs that need the most picking up.

    Lastly, and you know I’m biased here, but I truly believe that if you want to change the world, you are going into the right profession. In special education, you will work with so many families that have spent their lives being told that their child is incapable, dependent, and less than normal. When you look them in the eye and say ‘I have high expectations of your child. He can learn, he will learn, and I am here to help him’, they look at you like you are sent from heaven.

    The best way to change the world for the better is to make the world better for one person.

    Good luck chasing your dreams.

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